You sound better with your mouth closed.
It got me thinking...
I can't help but think about whether someone wants our advice or just a listening ear. Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported. But what if the person in question actually wants our advice? It can be tough to navigate this without coming across as judgmental or condescending.
It's a tricky balance, though. How do we know whether someone wants our advice or just a listening ear? One thing I've learned is that it's all about reading the room.
If someone comes to you with a problem and they're visibly upset or agitated, chances are they just need someone to listen. They don't want solutions or advice – they just want to vent and feel heard. On the other hand, if someone comes to you with a problem and they're calm and collected, they may be more open to your advice or suggestions. In this case, it's okay to offer your perspective, but make sure you're doing so in a non-judgmental and empathetic way.
So, how do we strike that perfect balance between listening and offering advice?
Ask before assuming. Before launching into a lecture or offering unsolicited advice, it's important to check in with the other person and see what they're looking for. Ask them directly if they want your advice, or if they just need someone to listen.
Validate their feelings. Even if you don't agree with their perspective, it's important to validate the other person's feelings and let them know that you hear them. Use phrases like "I can understand why you feel that way" or "That sounds really tough."
Offer your perspective, not your judgment. If the other person does want your advice, try to offer your perspective in a non-judgmental way. Use "I" statements to convey your thoughts and feelings, and avoid placing blame or making assumptions.
Follow up with support. After offering your advice or just listening, it's important to follow up with support and let the other person know that you're there for them. Check in with them periodically and see how they're doing.
What if the advice that you gave is not well received and the person gets upset or angry? You offer your two cents, thinking you're helping, and before you know it, the person is mad at you. Talk about a "dawn if you do, dawn if you don't" situation.
Sometimes people aren't ready to hear what we have to say. It's not that they don't value our opinion or respect us, it's just that they're not ready to take action or make a change. As someone who's no stranger to doling out advice, I've learned that the best approach is to lead with compassion and understanding. Acknowledge the person's feelings and let them know that you're there for them, regardless of whether they choose to take your advice or not. And if the person does get upset or angry, try not to take it personally. Remember, their reaction is not a reflection of you – it's a reflection of where they're at in their own journey.
At the end of the day, we can't control how others react to our advice. All we can do is offer our perspective in a thoughtful and respectful way, and then let the person make their own decision. They are the only ones who know what's truly best for them.
So the next time you find yourself in a "dawn if you do, dawn if you don't" situation, take a deep breath, offer your advice with kindness and understanding, and then let go of the outcome. Who knows – they may surprise you and take your advice after all.
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