It's Your Love And Your Energy That Makes People Seem So Special

When you lose an emotional attachment to someone, you realize how ordinary they are.

It got me thinking...

Ahhh the illusion of special...

I couldn’t help but wonder: is it truly the person we adore, or simply the energy and love we invest in them that makes them seem extraordinary?

It’s like standing in a dimly lit room with a spotlight fixed on one person. They appear radiant, the center of your universe. But as the lights come up, the room fills with other faces, and the one who once seemed extraordinary blends into the crowd.

As I sit in my favorite coffee shop, observing the parade of couples and solo thinkers, I find myself musing over the curious nature of human attachment. As a therapist, I've witnessed countless love stories unravel, and a common theme always emerges: "It's your love and your energy that makes people seem so special." This notion is both enlightening and sobering.

Picture this: you're in a relationship, and every interaction with your partner feels magical. You hang on their every word, laugh at their jokes, and marvel at their quirks. They seem like the most special person in the world. But what if it's not really them? What if it's the love and energy you pour into the relationship that casts this enchanting spell?

Take, for instance, a client of mine. She was head over heels for her boyfriend. To her, he was the epitome of perfection—charming, witty, and impossibly attractive. But when their relationship ended, something curious happened. As the emotional attachment faded, she began to see him in a new light. His jokes weren’t as funny, his charm felt forced, and his attractiveness seemed to dwindle. She realized that it was her love and energy that had made him shine so brightly in her eyes.

Then there's another client, who was infatuated with his colleague. He admired her intelligence and found her presence intoxicating. But after he switched jobs and the daily proximity vanished, his feelings began to wane. When he bumped into her months later, he was struck by how ordinary she seemed. It wasn’t that she had changed; it was that his emotional attachment had dissipated, stripping away the aura of specialness he had created around her.

This phenomenon is a testament to the power of emotional investment. When we deeply care about someone, we infuse our interactions with positive energy, and that energy often reflects back, creating an illusion of extraordinariness. Our brains, wired to seek emotional connections, amplify this effect, making the ordinary seem extraordinary.

In my practice, I often explore this dynamic with my clients. We delve into the concept of projection—how we project our ideals, desires, and love onto others, often elevating them to a pedestal they might not truly deserve. It’s a fascinating journey of self-awareness and understanding.

Now, this isn’t to say that everyone we love is ordinary. Some people truly are exceptional. But it's crucial to recognize the role our emotions play in shaping our perceptions. When you lose an emotional attachment to someone, you often realize how ordinary they are. It's not that they’ve become less special; it’s that the lens through which you viewed them has changed.

Think of it like this: you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, and everything seems vibrant and beautiful. But when you take off those glasses, the colors dull, and reality sets in. The vibrancy wasn’t inherent to the objects you were looking at; it was a reflection of the lens you were using.

So, how do we navigate this complex landscape of love and attachment? Start by being mindful of your emotional investments. Acknowledge the energy you’re pouring into relationships and recognize the power it has to shape your perceptions. And most importantly, cherish the people in your life for who they are, not just for how they make you feel.

As I finish my coffee and pack up my laptop, I can’t help but reflect on my own relationships. Who shines brightly because of my love and energy? And how might my perceptions shift if those emotional attachments were to fade?

In the end, it’s your love and your energy that makes people seem so special. When you lose an emotional attachment to someone, you realize how ordinary they are. It’s like seeing a star fade in the morning light—still beautiful, but no longer the beacon it once was in the dark. How many stars have we created with our love, only to watch them fade as the dawn of reality breaks?