Why Are We Attracted To Certain People?

Sometimes a crush turns out to be a crash.

You are not a crush you are a trauma response.

It got me thinking...

Have you ever found yourself drawn to the same type of person over and over again? Maybe you keep falling for the commitment-phobe or the emotionally unavailable type. It's like you're a magnet for these people, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to break the pattern.

Well, here's the thing: the problem isn't that you attract a certain kind of people, it's that you're attracted to a certain kind of people. And that attraction often stems from a pain we've always known, thanks to our childhood experiences.

It's not uncommon to seek out partners who remind us of our parents. Whether we realize it or not, our early experiences with our caregivers shape our attachment styles and influence the type of people we're drawn to. If we grew up with parents who were emotionally distant or inconsistent in their affection, we may be drawn to partners who exhibit similar traits. It's like we're trying to recreate that familiar dynamic, because it feels like home...

But why would we want to recreate that dynamic, you may ask?

Well, it's not that we consciously want to relive the pain of our past. Rather, it's a subconscious attempt to heal those wounds. We're seeking out partners who we hope will finally give us the love and affection we never received as children. It's a way of trying to fill that void and find the sense of security and comfort we may have lacked growing up.

Of course, as you've probably experienced firsthand, this pattern often backfires. We end up in relationships with people who can't give us what we need, and we're left feeling frustrated, disappointed, and alone.

So, how can we break this pattern and start attracting healthier partners?

It starts with recognizing our own patterns and taking a closer look at our past experiences. By identifying the root cause of our attraction to certain types of people, we can begin to heal those wounds and move towards healthier relationships.

And let's face it, who doesn't want a partner who can give them the love and affection they deserve?

So, next time you find yourself drawn to that commitment-phobe or emotionally unavailable type, ask yourself: am I really attracted to them, or am I just trying to recreate the pain of my past? It may not be an easy question to answer, but it's a necessary one if we want to break free from our old patterns and find the love we truly deserve.